Pandamonium!! (my chaotic life)
chaos incarnate. but, damn is it interesting!Nom
Yesterday was good.
I went into Calgary and hung out with Nick.
We went for sushi. I tried jellyfish, which was actually excellent, if a bit crunchy. I kind of liked that quality of it though. Then we wandered around Kensington and drank coffee and played Little Big Planet eventually, which I was really bad at…but it was fun :D
Someone I went to school with, and who I worked with at my first Starbucks, has a shop downtown. All the stuff is handmade by people, so I bought my mother a birthday gift that doesn’t count toward my Stuff-Count!
I’m thinking of trying to pick up some temp work to pad my income. I like Starbucks’ benefits, but not their wage. There’s so much I want to do–it’s gonna be hard on 9 bucks an hour.
I realized that I accidentally linked Nick to my blog the other day, while showing him my chickadee picture…
Part of me dreads the thought that he probably figured out the location of my blog from there…and another part hopes that he reads the whole thing, and never tells me that he knows of it’s existence.
He seems interested in me. If that’s the case, it’d be good for him to be forewarned.
I mean, I’ve improved significantly, I think…but the crazy I’m capable of is documented here. There’s no guarantee that I won’t revert.
It’s good for one to know what they’re getting into. But it’s also good for me not to know who reads my blog so that I can be candid.
Stuff
I think I’m going to try not to buy stuff new anymore.
I have other options. Ebay, Etsy…I don’t need to buy new. And buying stuff online is easier anyway.
The inspiration for this is the following:
Like…I’ll admit, I like stuff. But I’m not fashionable, and I don’t throw much out. Liking stuff doesn’t necessarily mean I need to contribute to the production of it.
Hamthrax
I’ve been stuck inside for a week.
Last Monday, I woke up without a voice and my mother said she thought I was in the contagious stage of H1N1. After telling my manager at work, I walked two blocks to the clinic and they agreed.
Or at least, they didn’t disagree, and that’s been enough for me to have an impromptu vacation.
I felt crappy for a few days, but now I think the crappy I’m feeling is directly correlating to the amount of time it’s been since I’ve seen the sun.
For the first five days, I mostly slept and watched House non-stop. And when I ran out of episodes, I found bloopers. I’m finding myself a little obsessed.
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, I played Warcraft. I raided for the first time in months, and it went really well. I also got two upgrades that bolstered my DPS considerably–I was in second place, up from probably fifth, when we fought Onyxia on Monday evening.
I like raiding with my old guild a lot more than I liked raiding with Raj’s. They were really hardcore–they took it all very seriously. Which is ok…it just doesn’t work for me. Warcraft is still a game to me. It’s not SRS BIZNESS. I can’t raid five nights a week, and I have no desire to–not even just to see content. Not if it means people are going to shout at one another.
My guild on Gorgonnash was my first guild. It was founded by a friend from high school. The main point in our raiding is to have fun, and even if things go wrong, it’s more likely that the comments will be calm than when I was raiding on Perenolde.
We laugh all the time! It’s so much fun!
In other news, I feel trapped and it’s piquing my wanderlust.
It’s also encouraging my agoraphobia and my antisocial tendencies, and it’s making my depression worse. (like I said, lack of sun)
I’m ashamed to say I may be getting sick of whatever this thing between Taz and I is. She’s still great, but I think we have a hard time trying to show one another we’re interested, and it doesn’t help that we’re not in the same town. But, at the same time that technically I know that she’s attracted to me, she doesn’t really ask how I am, and rarely initiates conversations. It’s kind of weird, because her boyfriend seems to pay a lot more attention to me than she does…which I take to be due to the fact that she’s probably giving him all of her attention, but still, don’t ya usually ask people you care about how they are? Especially if they’ve supposedly contracted deadly viruses?
I dunno, I guess I’m a little impatient with these things lately. I’m not as interested in sticking around in a situation that’s less than ideal. Maybe that’ll leave me disappointed in the end, as I’ve always feared it would, but I honestly don’t care anymore. It’s either be disappointed now, or later. What’s the difference? I’m in no hurry–I’m not even 100% sure I want kids, so I don’t have a clock ticking.
I think a lot of why I like guys is because they pay attention to me. There’s nothing like being a girl who plays video games to get a guy interested in you. I can see, in myself, that ideally, I would want someone who was desperate to be with me. Maybe that has something to do with my being bat-shit crazy (at least until quite recently). If someone thinks I’m cool enough, they’ll stick around through a few of my crazier moments, anyway.
The cooler they think I am, the more moments they’ll stick around through.
Now, the only problem is, I’m not sure girls can think I’m that cool. Simply because geeky girls are hard to find–what’s the chance I’ll find one? I am one. I’m already beating the odds.
I find myself wondering how it would end if Nick and I dated.
I can’t imagine. But the trend is pointing towards “badly”.
I fought the war, but the war won!
I went to see Metric yesterday in my Max hoodie!
I attached ears to it and put a bunny stuffy in the pocket, and I was a kangaroo :D
It was a good show! I couldn’t handle the mosh pit though, it was more hardcore than the one at Chris Cornell, so I didn’t get too close. But, I got close enough!
Emily Haines isn’t as flat as in real life as she looks in music videos. Either that, or she padded quite creatively, because she was wearing a shirt that didn’t really have a back. Cuz she definitely looked like a small B, at least.
Also, why stuff on stage, but not for music videos?!
Anyway, we got to wear costumes at work today, too. I’m so surprised I didn’t spill all over myself!
Monster Hospital – Metric
/sigh
I have problems with negative, judgmental people.
There’s this guy I know who’s always knocking people. Like, not everyday, ordinary people. We’re talking Bono and the Dalai Lama.
Like, I get it–no one’s perfect. I really do. But seriously, what has this guy done to benefit the world? Nothing. He gets together with his cute little cynical friends once a week and bitches about stuff like this and feels he’s entitled to be an asshole.
And I’m like, really? Seriously?
All else aside…these people think they’re doing something good. You can’t be the Dalai Lama and only be out for yourself. Dude’s been away from home for how many years now?
50. I counted.
Anyway, if he were out for himself, he would have gone back. He would have been like, “No, y’all were right, sorry, I can has a home country again?”
He thinks he’s doing right by his people, and a lot of them agree.
Bono’s trying to do good things, too.
What gives the people sitting around in front of their TV the right to criticize these people?
Go out and change the world some. Then maybe I’ll have a bit more respect for you when you hand out flack.
70 Questions, v.2.0
This is a re-do of the survey I stole from a friend a while back. I like to do them over again once in a while to see where I’m at.
Seventy Questions
1.Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Uh, very last, no. Last one I kissed sober, VERY YES.
2. What song describes your relationship status?
Sick Muse by Metric? (something by metric, at least.)
(If I hadn’t worked up the guts to talk to Taz, it would be My Freeze Ray from Dr Horrible)
3. How much does your dog weigh?
no dog
4. Are you a heart breaker, or the broken heart?
More the latter than the former. I haven’t broke me a heart in a while.
5. Ever went skinny dipping?
Nah
6. Earrings or necklaces?
neither
7. Who have you talked to most today?
Nick (I may start calling him Spock, because I know too many Nicks)
8. Did seven eat eight?
no…but seven ate your mom.
9. Friend of the opposite sex that lives closest to you?
Norman! He lives by where I used to live.
10. Color of your shirt?
Red. I have my Starbucks shirt on right now.
11. How many years have you taken a language?
Hmm, I’ve been speaking English for 23 or so now…
12. Who’s on speed dial 2?
No speed dial. The place I call second most is work, I think, though.
13. What colour is your background on your computer mainscreen?
Greyish-white, with a girl in the middle.
14. Do you wish on 11:11?
um…no? but I used to look at the clock at funny times like that. Like…each time I looked at my clock.
15. Good advice if you ever go camping?
bring someone to cuddle with, ‘cuz it’s t3h cold! And lots of booze.
16. Are you a bad influence?
Not usually. I’m badass in the, like, chasing people with bubbles sort of way.
17. What colour are your eyes?
blue, but they change colour. grey and green are two of their favourites
18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name?
I dunno…Jess has a better middle name (Faith), and Melissa has a better first name (Sarah), and I could go for either :D
19. Would you do anything for someone?
Certain someones.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch?
I think I mostly call myself a bitch.
21. Favorite colour?
Grey
22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
yes, and varied.
23. What song is on?
Threatened by Michael Jackson
24. Are your grades good?
No, because I keep being depressed when I’m in school. FML
25. Do you have any friends with benefits?
I guess we could call Taz that…
26. Would you date anyone on your facebook friends list?
Hmm…One of them. A girl I work with at Starbucks.
27. Is your best friend on Facebook?
yep!
28. Who’s page did you last visit?
Cam’s
29. Last time you went out to lunch?
to lunch specifically… sitting down, with some
30. Do you watch the Gilmore Girls?
Have. and it’s great.
31. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
no, he bothers me.
32. Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?
both, actually. That was one of the only english programs in China, so we got into it…lol.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.Ds?
NO.
34. Which radio stations are your favorites?
Pandora.
35. Are you a Lost fanatic?
used to be…then Season 2 sucked, and I haven’t gotten back into it :P
36. still have pictures of your ex?
I think so. Some of them are digital.
37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
no, Ozzy bothers me too.
38. Alanis Morissette?
I <3 her, but I don’t have anything in my iTunes.
39. Do you watch Family Guy Regularly?
I used to when I had cable.
40. King of the Hill?
ew.
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
nooo.
42. Do you ever forget to give a Christmas/birthday present?
lol, only all the time >.<
43. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
I wouldn’t say obnoxiously. And I wouldn’t say car. But I sing, and I like to :D
44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one’s home?
I wouldn’t say obnoxiously. But yes.
45. Have you ever watched a little kid’s show when you were over 12?
OF COURSE! Blue’s Clues is fricken awesome!
46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they werent?
haha! yes.
47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school?
my first crush was grade 7. I think that’s because I repressed my attraction to girls ‘cuz it wasn’t what I considered normal.
48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didnt ask her/him out because you were afraid?
I’m trying to learn to get over that fear. IT’S HARD.
49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life?
…hasn’t everyone? Wasn’t that an assignment in school one year? didn’t we have to write autobiographies every fricken year?
50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but a certain person?
lol! often :)
51. Have you ever liked someone solely because of their appearance?
lol, everyone has. “OHMIGOD HES CUTE!!11!!one”
52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
LOL
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
only about not being sticky.
54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
nope, only china
55. Do you know how to knit?
technically, i know how. Doesn’t mean I can do it worth a damn.
56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover?
I have a monster cover for my iPhone
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in your profile?
not put them in my profile, but I’ve written lyrics.
58. Do you keep a diary or journal online?
LOL! no. ;)
59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color?
red, actually.
[[Truly Unusual This or That Questions]]
60. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?
wtf’s Coldstone??
61. Physics or chemistry?
chem
62. Earphones or headphones?
head
63. pink or teal?
pink. but only because sometimes I’m in that kind of mood.
64. Earrings or a ring?
yuck
65. Commitment or casual dating?
Casual dating atm. Doesn’t mean I’m not open to the former though.
66. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?
LOTR wins by seniority.
67. Fly or road trip?
um…yes.
68. Starbucks?
Yes.
69. What is your favorite Disney movie?
finding nemo, wall-e, and alice in wonderland are the only disney movies i like.
70. Have you ever bought clothing at Sears?
haha, yes. lots.
Days off are more fun now that I’m not exhausted…
I’ve been balancing my doshas recently (an Ayurveda thing, I’m learning about it all slowly) and as a result, I’m not tired all the time anymore!
Probably also helps that I have a consistant schedule now.
Anyway, today was fun!
I cut out material for the Max suits until about 5am, because now instead of being exhausted all the time, I’m energetic all the time, and it’s lead to a bit of insomnia (which is handy! I have SO MUCH TIME!!) and then slept from 5:30 til 10 or so, when I had to go into Calgary to meet up with a former co-worker to swap partner day shirts (we have a thing called “partner appreciation day” where they give us tshirts. There were two styles this year, and I liked the one that my store didn’t get, but then I traded a surplus of the other style with this particular former co-worker)
After that, I wandered around some malls, bought a $12 sweater for work, and a pencil sharpener, and tried to take a nap in a mall (security woke me up), and then sat at a library for a half an hour before meeting up with Nick for supper and coffee and, eventually, ping pong. Which was a lot of fun! Hanging out with him in real life is just like talking to him online :)
And now I’m home.
It was a good day :)
I’m a Dork (and other news)
I saw Taz on Monday :)
She and I met for coffee and talked for like two hours before catching the train and going to get me Max Suit material. I confessed how big a dork I actually am (I hadn’t until then told her I was making a Max suit, or that I was going to wear it to the movie, or that I had convinced someone else who just so happened to be the same size as me to come with me dressed up, or that after I’d bought the material I would be going to a friend’s house to play table top RPGs…), and she wasn’t as freaked out as I anticipated…I think she seems much more normal than she actually is.
Her hair was so cute that day! She doesn’t wear it down much, but I love it when she does, and lets it be curly :)
The RPG I had intended to play that evening was called Scion, and it looks like a real winner. We didn’t get past character creation, but it has such a great premise! I really hope this campaign flies, because I made a rock star… >.>
The GM is Glynn, and the story is that, about 20 years ago, a drunken party bus came through Calgary with a bunch of gods on it (just greek so far…), and we’re the aftermath. It sounds like my character’s dad started the whole thing (we figured he was Dionysus). Since they’re the children of gods, they’re obviously SUPERFANTASTIC, and my character’s stats really play well with her characteristics.
And she’s going to bash people in the head with her guitar!!
…Why yes, I am a dork!
And I have such a great idea for what to get Taz for Christmas!
I already have a Portal necklace for her–which, as it turns out, apparently isn’t being made anymore! It’s the Companion Cube, made out of sculpey I think. I kind of bought it by accident, haha. Anyway, she said she liked it a loong while ago, probably less than a month after I met her, so it’s going to come as a complete surprise.
And the second part, is to do with this great idea I have. Well…I think it’s great, anyway. I make butterflies out of old magazines and make them double sided so that I can make reversible barrettes. She really loves Phantom of the Opera–like, REALLY loves. She says it’s one of the things that helps her cope with her depression. (If you don’t understand chronic depression, think of it like this: imagine that sometimes, you have a bad day and you can’t breathe. That’s kind of like when you suffer from depression, and have a bad day. But you have certain things that help you breathe on these days–For me, that’s pills. For her, it’s baths and Phantom and things like Found Cake.) So my idea is that I’ll make butterflies out of scenes from Phantom.
I’m ridiculously sweet sometimes. I’m not sure how good that’s going to be for me in this situation…
See, I think things can go one of two ways here. Either I’ll be really sweet and she’ll realise she deserves it, or I’ll be really sweet and she’ll get scared off because she doesn’t think she deserves it.
I don’t think I can help being sweet though…it’s a challenge not to be more so, but she told me I can’t give her things for no reason so I’m trying to curb it :X
I don’t think I’m succeeding very well, in all actuality…
I’m ridiculous. LOL
Wanderlust
Anyone know how hard it is to get a working visa for the states?
Or, alternately, of a sci-fi/fan convention coming up somewhere?
I feel like I need a change of scenery pretty badly.
In other news, one of my friends got a spiny mouse and it’s the CUTEST THING EVER!!
I met it yesterday. It’s super smart, as well as being adorable.
