Pandamonium!! (my chaotic life)
chaos incarnate. but, damn is it interesting!Archive for August, 2007
i win ^_^
apparently, aside from being the best girlfriend raj has had, i’m also the best in bed ;)
which i’m proud of, since that’s the thing he missed the most about his most recent ex.
it’s probably mostly because i care. i don’t figure sex should be a selfish thing.
he’s had a lot of selfish girlfriends…but, in reality, most people are selfish.
and he loves me, in a fashion…when i figured he did, turns out i was right, but he has a hard time opening up. makes perfect sense.
so he’s not comfortable saying it yet, and i can wait. :)
funny how that works…
i’ve go to be the furthest from god i’ve ever been…and i’m finding applications for what religion’s taught me.
all these quotes…i have to stop myself from preaching a religion that isn’t even mine anymore to raj.
isn’t that funny?
in other news, bandaids.
procrastination
Avanoo’s blog today is regarding procrastination.
…i’m not sure i quite get it.
i’m really bad about procrastinating. i even procrastinate when i’m playing warcraft, for goodness sake!
it’s like a habit with me…a part of who i am, almost…
a part i don’t like.
i’m not sure how to change…
i’m always so tired, i always feel so defeated…
i’m never sure how to carry forward, always unsure of what would work, or if the things i do will work…
i think about learning new things, like PHP or Chinese or something…but i’m so afraid of wasting time that i never get around to it.
i had a short conversation with one of my coworkers today. she was talking about how people always get so worried about money and debt…there was something else, but i hadn’t had my coffee yet…
she said that it didn’t really matter how much debt you accumulated, because you have the rest of your life to pay it off. that makes me feel a bit better about my situation…
which looks like it’s going to shape up by the end of next month…
but maybe if i just picked something, even if it was stupid, because i thought i would enjoy it, i could get somewhere.
maybe if i just took up linguistics, despite not knowing where i would use it, or a language or something, it would be a step in the right direction, and that would be worth whatever it cost me…
but it’s still daunting.
for those of you who were curious…
…this is why i hate “saving face” so much.
“As long as we say it’s not our fault loud enough, it’s not our fault!”
>.<
i got the awesome scottish bus driver this morning.
he has a thick accent and he’s always happy! he was singing something this morning, then he started talking to everyone about how they should put chimes on buses–give everyone a “bit of peace.” said everyone had to listen to the bus driver and the radio, and they’d get tired of the bus driver, so i said, “I don’t think i could get tired of you.”
he’s always so nice to everyone! I usually see him on fridays, and he’ll always wish everyone a good weekend, even if he’s driving a ctrain. he had spent a lot of time on the whitehorn line when i lived in rundle, would turn on the intercom at 3rd st station and tell everyone to have a great weekend.
heh, silly little things make my day. ^_^
there’s a lunar eclipse tonight. raj is coming over and we’re going to watch it together :D
i’m really happy with him.
a little too personal for facebook…
1. Sex is best in the morning, afternoon, or night?
i like morning sex best, but i’ll take whatever i can get :)
2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
when i’m at home, the outside. when i’m at raj’s, the inside.
3.Pork, Beef, or Chicken?
recently, beef. formerly, chicken. pork’s nice too, though
4. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
had to jump off the bus before my stop one year when i contracted some bug…but don’t drive :)
5. What leg do you put in pants first when putting them on?
right one, i think.
6. Candles or Incense?
candles
7. Do you dance when no one is watching?
nah, i only dance when i’m drunk. and i’m only drunk in front of people.
8. Did you play doctor when you were little?
don’t think so…
9. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
nope
10. Stove top cooking or microwave?
stovetop. i don’t have casserole dishes, so it’s easier. but after i make stuff, it goes in the microwave.
11. Would you rather your car or your house be dirty?
car, but to tell the truth, they’d both be. and i don’t have a car.
12. Shower or bath?
shower
13. Do you pee in the shower?
…
14. Mexican or Chinese food?
neither. westernized chinese food holds no comparrison to real chinese food. i would choose sushi or east indian, and if those were the choices, i’d probably choose east indian.
15. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
a little of both, preferably–i don’t like to run things. but i do like to be a dom every once in a while. it’s not a requirement, but i do like to tie a boy up every once in a while. don’t mind being tied, either, though ;)
16. Do you love someone on your friends list?
just raj :)
17. Do you own sex toys?
three, but one’s mia and the others are a little shoddy. once i finally have money, i’m going to invest in a really nice one.
18. Corn Dogs or Hot Dogs?
hot dogs. i’ve never been too partial to corn dogs…
19. Your favorite restaurant?
The Unicorn.
20. What did you have for lunch today?
um…my one meal was McDonalds, c/o brent.
21. Which do you prefer, iceberg or romaine lettuce?
depends on my mood, and what it’s on.
22. When did you last fall down?
i stumble all the time, but the last time i fell down was due to the hole in the grass near the crosswalk on the way to the bus that takes me home from work.
23. Have you ever wished someone were dead?
Zantzinger. and i wouldn’t be sad if Hugh Sung died, either, actually. not for my own sake, but to protect all the people he’ll lie to if he’s alive.
24. Love or Money?
Love. which, ironically, i have, and not money. so i know what i’m talking about ;)
25. Credit Cards or cash?
credit cards. i don’t like having to lie when panhandlers ask me for change, but i don’t like giving them money either :P
I only use my debit card.
26. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn’t?
um, my mother? i’m not allowed to say that, though, so no, of course not! ;)
27. Oreos or Vanilla Wafers?
oreos.
28. How do you like your steak cooked?
medium-rare.
29. How do you like your eggs?
over-easy, occasionally scrambled, and rarely.
30. Have you ever knocked someone off their feet in a fight?
I’ve never fought.
31. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
hotel, but just because they’re fricken awesome. camping’s fun too. (but cold)
32. Would you rather have a root canal or minor surgery?
minor surgery.
33. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
not unless i had to. though i’ve contemplated shaving my head.
34. Would you rather have lice or an STD?
lice, but i’ve had STD(s?) instead…chlamydia, that i’ve known about, haven’t gotten the results back for the other two.
35. Ever been to a strip club?
nah. i don’t think i’d be keen. i like girls, but i like different ones than those who strip.
36. Ever been to a bar?
uh, yes?
37. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
nope, never been kicked out of anywhere
38. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
i’ve been helped, but not carried.
39. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
hehe, yes. ziggy, taryn, chelsea, and kristin.
40. Have you ever thrown up from drinking too much?
yes, but only the morning after. and only once.
41. Had sex in the car?
nope
42. Had sex at the beach?
nope
43. Had sex in a movie theater?
nope
44. Had sex in a bathroom?
nope
45. Had sex at work?
nope
46. Have you ever been in an “adult” store?
yep
47. Bought something from an adult store?
course! where else was i supposed to get my vibrators from?
48. Have you spent over $200.00 in one visit to the adult store?
nope
49. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
quite a few.
50. Is there anyone on your friends list that you HAVE had sex with?
shay, brent, raj, and chelsea are all on my facebook.
51. Have you been caught having sex?
hah, yeah. by shay’s brother a few years ago.
52. Have you ever kissed a stranger?
not perfect strangers. i’d only known matt a week or so, though.
53. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
perhaps… meh.
yesterday was raj’s 30th birthday!
it was an absolute blast! i met some of his cousins (whose names i can’t remember for the life of me!) and some of his friends; morgan and aaron from the guild were there, as well as morgan’s girlfriend barb; i got riddiculously drunk, but not so much that i couldn’t remember the night, and i tried pot for the first time. it didn’t seem to affect me much, but maybe that’s because i was so inebriated in the first place.
and apparently i defended neelam (one of his sisters)? i can’t remember doing that, LOL. but his other sister, geena, was apparently impressed…
and he bought me pizza ^_^
and he likes what i gave him! it was a copy of H2G2, because while i’d promised to lend him mine, that plan kind of failed in light of the fact that i can’t find my fricken book…
it has to be somewhere, i’d be sad if it wasn’t. that book followed me through china.
tonight marks 3 months that we’ve been together. i’m now officially his second-longest relationship!
we’re going out tonight with a few of his friends who couldn’t make it yesterday. should be a lot of fun! I’m looking forward to it :D
O.o
i keep meeting this guy on the bus.
he’s nice…but i’m not sure if i should be creeped out a bit.
there’s no real reason for me to be…i just get a vibe. but that might be the “stranger on the bus” vibe :P
maybe i should reacquire a machete…
raj isn’t good for my sleeping schedule…
…but i don’t mind that much ^_^
he’s been over the last two nights, post-raid. so, he arrived at 12.
so we didn’t get to sleep til two or three. especially since we watched some Firefly last night.
then got up at 6:30…
so i RLY need some sleep!
it’s his birthday tomorrow. apparently, he’s never had a girlfriend on his birthday, so i said, “Well, i don’t plan on dying before your birthday…” and he said, “SHH! Don’t say that!!”
it was cute ^_^
anyway, not dead yet! nor sick of him, which was his assumption.
nor running away, like one of his other girlfriends liked to do.
so i win ^_^
i’m trying to stop talking to shay.
he’s hurt me too bad, and he doesn’t seem sorry enough for any of it.
but it hurts ‘cuz i’m too sentimental.
